ref: c3101e4da486b2bf2e8b911bcb62dd8ec31c41bf
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<?xml version="1.0"?> <!DOCTYPE package PUBLIC "+//ISBN 0-9673008-1-9//DTD OEB 1.0 Package//EN" "http://openebook.org/dtds/oeb-1.0/oebdoc1.dtd"> <html> <head> <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/x-oeb1-document; charset=utf-8" /> <link rel="stylesheet" type="text/x-oeb1-css" href="devil.css" /> <title>The Devil’s Dictionary: V</title> </head> <body lang="en-US"> <h1>V</h1> <p class="entry"><span class="def">valor</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A soldierly compound of vanity, duty and the gambler’s hope.</p> <p>“Why have you halted?” roared the commander of a division and Chickamauga, who had ordered a charge; “move forward, sir, at once.”</p> <p>“General,” said the commander of the delinquent brigade, “I am persuaded that any further display of valor by my troops will bring them into collision with the enemy.”</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">vanity</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> The tribute of a fool to the worth of the nearest ass.</p> <div class="poem"> <p class="poetry">They say that hens do cackle loudest when<br /> There’s nothing vital in the eggs they’ve laid;<br /> And there are hens, professing to have made<br /> A study of mankind, who say that men<br /> Whose business ‘tis to drive the tongue or pen<br /> Make the most clamorous fanfaronade<br /> O’er their most worthless work; and I’m afraid<br /> They’re not entirely different from the hen.<br /> Lo! the drum-major in his coat of gold,<br /> His blazing breeches and high-towering cap—<br /> Imperiously pompous, grandly bold,<br /> Grim, resolute, an awe-inspiring chap!<br /> Who’d think this gorgeous creature’s only virtue Is that in battle he will never hurt you?</p> <p class="citeauth">Hannibal Hunsiker</p> </div> <p class="entry"><span class="def">virtues</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span>pl. Certain abstentions.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">vituperation</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Saite, as understood by dunces and all such as suffer from an impediment in their wit.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">vote</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> The instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.</p> </body> </html>